Definitely a process maker these days.
(In that sentence, “maker” is the noun.)
I had the most amazing dream the other night. We are in the process of adopting a baby from China, and I dreamt about her. I dreamt that she was a young woman, mid- to late-teens, and she came out to me. I remember looking her over in the dream, and she had wore short hair, boxy t-shirt, and jeans. Pink lipstick, hair bleached blond in front. She looked at me, forthright, calm, trembling hands, short pink painted nails. This is not to make generalizations about gender, personal style, or stereotypical dress; this was a dream, and my dreams, at least, are as a rule graphic in their illustrative style. These details are etched in my mind.
I remember thinking, “You have never not been out to me, my love.” And then I said, “Okay, but you have to talk to our friends D and K.”
Like being gay was contingent on my permission.
I find this a fascinating dream. I was not dreaming that she was a baby and we were raising her, or that she was a toddler, or any of the dreams that one might have about a pending kidlet. I was dreaming about being her mother. Not “how will she be as our baby,” but “how can I be a good mother to her?” About the process of parenting, of loving her.
In other news (maybe?), I’ve now made two gifts over the last week that I’ve frogged and begun over. I’ve definitely gone over to the process side of the Force. Oh, you didn’t know that the Force was involved? No? Well, it is. See, remember how the Force is that energy that pervades the entirety of the Universe, connecting every living thing? Well, just as there are dark and good sides of the Force, there are process and product sides. Yes, there are. Dark and good are just two sides, two perspectives on the way one relates to and uses the power of the Force. Just as you might plug in your hair dryer to blow dry your hair, or you might plug in your hair dryer only to drop it into Bob Annoying’s bathtub. With Bob. Yes. Good side, or dark side.
Process and product are just two sides, two perspectives, right? We go through both when creating. When we are makers we are using the energy of the universe. Remember the laws of conservation of energy and of mass? Well, if you’re using material (say, wool or cotton or silk) the originating sheep or plant or worm no longer has that material, you do. Conservation of mass. If you use the energy to make something, that energy is not longer there for you to do with elsewhere (like bathe the dog or paint butterflies on china or whatever.) Conservation of energy.
When making, you use energy to create. When being product-driven, you are only focused on the material, the transmogrification of wool-into-hat, cotton-into-scarf, silk-into-gloves. When you include process, you can watch the energy of the universe transfer from one state to another. Feel it feed through your arms, out your fingers. Your central nervous system is a conduit for the energy of beings with one giant bobble head and six arms somewhere in Alpha Centauri. It could be.
The Energy of the Universe (the Force) + material + maker = product
The Energy of the Universe (the Force) + material + maker + consciousness of process = product imbued with extra life-force
Which is just a mumbly way of saying that making things is nifty, and making things with energy and purpose and joy means making things that are imbued with energy and purpose and joy.
Gift Card to My Friend:
This Calorimetry was knit for you from my own handspun merino with energy, purpose, and joy, while I thought of you and the enjoyment you would have wearing it. I hope you feel loved whenever you put it on. May the Force Be With You.