Questionable story: An interview.

Geeklet tonight, on our after-meal pre-bath walk, flying his hands and telling me a story:

G: This is Binko, who is flying and acting out the story of Binko and the Bomb. It’s one of a series of books, you see. (He then goes on to list them:
1. Purry and the Warship
2. Purry and the Wrecked Car
3. Purry and the Upside-Down Bicycle
4. Purry and the Air Fight
5. Purry and the Smashed Plane
6. Purry and…

You get the idea. He listed thirteen, of which the last was Binko and the Bomb. By this point I’m questioning every parenting choice I’ve ever made.)

G: Finally Binko is hit and crashes his plane. He goes to Purry, who of course lets him have her plane.

Me: Won’t she need it?

G: No, because she can always make another. Purry is the expert plane maker. She can make a plane out of pieces of metal in a second.

Me: I then worry about her attention to detail.

G: No, no, she’s very good. Whenever anyone wants a Flying Tiger or a Spitfire they ask for her.

(Again questioning my parenting. Sigh.)

So Binko is bombed down two or three times more. Geeklet then goes on to explain that the war, which is between Cat Country (which is, yes, the slogan for a famous Southern California country western station) and Dog Country won’t be going on for much longer, because Dog Country is not producing many babies these days, but Cat Country is.

Me: Is that because Dog Country doesn’t want to have babies during a war?

G: No, it’s because in Cat Country, all the houses are made of stone. And they have better bombs. In Dog Country, the bombs are made of metal. But in Cat Country they’re made of, of stone. Like their houses. Everything is made of stone… except the living things, of course! (Laughs.) If the cats were made of stone there would be no war! And the food is not made of stone.

He then goes on to explain that Dog Country and Cat Country are at war because Dog Country wants to take over the land of Cat Country and that would be the end of Cat Country!

Me: But what would happen if Cat Country just let Dog Country take over? Wouldn’t there still be cats in Cat Country?

G: No, because the dogs would move in and make the cats move out, and then the cats would have to move a long way to find some place to live, and if that happened we never would have had Hershey and Pluie (our cats). They would have been too fussy.

Me: ?

G: Because the cats all got on a ship and came across a strait. If they were next door to America, to the United States, that would be okay, but if they were far away, that would be bad, because as it was, Cat Country is two miles away over the strait, and Binko, who was steering the ship, had brought it one mile over the strait when Hershey and Pluie got fussy. They yowled and yowled and yowled. And Binko for the first time ever became angry. He had never gotten angry before. But he got angry and he came into port and docked his ship. And guess where it was?

Me: Where?

Geeklet: Here! And Binko put Hershey and Pluie off the ship and they ran and ran until they came here. And that is why we need to be at war with Dog Country.

(Again, questioning parenting here.)

End of interview.


Why we make the bed.

This is why we make the bed.

We make the bed because when we don’t make the bed, the cats, who would normally lie on the bed and leave their tufts of fur there, leave their tufts of fur on the sheets and pillowcases. If they are left on the pillowcases, then the Mites of Cataria, who live in the fur of the cats, will wait for their homes to return and when we lie down at night they become confused and crawl up into our noses to live. It is dark in there, and they will be sad.

However, if we make the bed in the morning then the cats lie on the top of the blankets and since we do not lie on the blankets, normally, but under them, then the Mites of Cataria will wait for their homes to return and when the cats return then they will reunite with their home colonies.

The Catarian Mites are known for their lovely colored clothes. They are expert dyers and they dye their clothes, then use their excess dyes (which, you know, will go bad if left to sit) on the cats, which is why Hershey is his lovely deep brown black color and Kahlua her cream, grey and brown. When the Catarian Mites grow old they get tired and do not dye so much, so there is not so much extra dye. The cats then have hairs that are left white or gray.

We do not want the Mites of Cataria, friendly and industrious little people as they are, to crawl up our noses and be sad.

This is why we make the bed.